Unfortunately, this particular truth hit home really hard 2 weeks ago. As if the 30 days of straight rain, the pain of packing and moving and losing my best friend (the punk moved to Utah) wasn’t emotionally draining enough… on Wed. Jan. 18th, I was woken by the house phone ringing at 5am and the sound of my mom’s voice on the answering machine. I knew it couldn’t be good for her to call at 5am, so I called back to hear crying and the words “Uncle Kevin”. As my heart sank, all I could say is NO…
Our last guest left our “8204 Farewell Party” at 3:15am, Sunday morning… 45 minutes later, Lily was driving me to the airport to fly home for my Uncle Kevin’s funeral. He was 39 yrs. old. I don’t understand. But then again, it’s not my job to understand. It’s my job to trust that God is in control, no matter what. Yet the famous “why?” questions won’t stop going thru my head. Why did God choose to bring him home to Heaven so soon, leaving behind his beautiful wife and 3 young children. I don’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to see his kids grow up… or why they have to grow up without him. I don’t understand why I couldn’t just make the time to pick up the phone and call every once in awhile.
But even tho we both sucked at keeping in touch, and we both knew it, I do know that my Uncle Kevin loved me, and I pray he knew I loved him, too. I also know that he touched SO many lives in those short 39 yrs., proven by the amount of people that attended his funeral service. Tons of family, friends from high school and college (KSU & FHSU), friends from teaching and coaching from various communities throughout Kansas, and so many students from years past and present… all these peoples’ lives were touched by my Uncle in some way. And that makes me SO proud of him!! If only I could have given him one more hug and told him so.
Most of my memories of my Uncle Kevin were from when I was younger… playing basketball in the back of the house in Galva… snooping around in his room and messing with all his stuff… I remember him always giving his sisters a hard time… and I can still hear him calling them by their first and middle names, Kandra Jean and Susan Marie. I remember him just being HUGE and having him and his other massive FHSU football friends (Dusty and Doug) come over to dinner at the house… I remember going to the Shriner’s Circus together… and snowball and Putt-Putt outings with him and Mindy… or just everyone hanging out in Galva. I made several trips to visit him and the fam in Wichita as I got older and in college, but not enough.
Life is short.
We’re not promised tomorrow.
Each day is a blessing from God.
These are all things I know to be true, but unfortunately my life & actions don’t always exhibit it. And it’s unfortunate that it often takes a tragedy in order for changes to be made, but I’m determined to make some changes and make them stick. I flew back to Portland almost drowning in emotions. I was full of grief and regrets… things I should have done, calls I should have made, visits that should have happened… but I was “too busy” and there just wasn’t enough time. I had just talked with my Aunt Kandy 3 days prior to him passing, as she was driving to Wichita to visit him, Mindy and the kids. I told her I was flying to Wichita for a friend’s wedding in October and I wanted all of us to get together. It had been too long since I’d seen everyone, and I wanted to see Uncle Kevin and Aunt Mindy’s new house and most importantly, meet my newest cousin, Noah, who’s almost 2 now, along with Paiton (5 in April) and Parker (just turned 6)! Plans, that were unfortunately made too late.
But like I said, although I flew back to Portland with a lot of regrets… I’m not going to let them cripple me… they’re going to motivate me and make be stronger. I’m going to reach out to those that I love and make sure they know it! I don’t want to take these days that God has given me for granted. I lost my dad a few weeks before my 1st b-day, and although God blessed me at age 3 with another amazing Dad, and I love him more than anything, and wouldn’t change a thing… questions still run thru my mind every now and then wondering what Jim Bruce was like, and how my life might have been different. And now, I have 3 young cousins that will face this same thing growing up. I’m thankful that Parker and Paiton are a little older and will have their own precious memories of their dad and will know, without a doubt, how much he loved and cherished them. Noah is pretty young, and might not remember quite as much… but that’s where we can come in. My family made sure that the memory of my dad never died… and I know that will be the case with Parker, Paiton and Noah.
Life is short. Don’t let it pass you by without taking care of the important things. Tell your family you love them… tell your friends that you cherish them… don’t wait until it’s too late. Life here on earth may be short… but I rest easy, knowing that I’ll be partying eternally up in “Club Heaven” with my Uncle Kev and lots of other family and friends, not to mention finally getting to meet my first dad! I can see him, my Uncle Kev and my Grandma and Grandpa Bruce up there playing cards… just waiting for more of us to join in on the fun!!
I trust that although my family is suffering loss right now, the Kingdom of God is benefiting. Not only because they have my Uncle Kev up there now to liven things up… but I pray that lives here on Earth have been touched in new ways because of this. I pray that people have reached out to the Lord for comfort, that walks with God have been strengthened and if they didn’t know the Lord Jesus Christ before, that they know Him now because of Kevin’s death. I may question God’s timing, but my trust is in Him regardless.
I love you, Uncle Kevin!!
And then Chantelle came over and helped me with the kitchen for the afternoon/evening shift while Lily was STILL talking on the phone, oh... i mean working on her room, that she waited until the VERY last minute to start working on... as in Monday morning. Yeah, that's right Lil... I'm talking smack... you're far enough away where you can't beat me up, and it's far enough in advance that you won't remember when I see you again! :-) SO anyway, we got as close as we were going to get that night before we killed each other... well, before I killed someone. And Lily ended up staying 1 more day to finish things up and tie up any loose ends. But as Lily would say... "it'll be alright".
Life is short. Don’t let it pass you by without taking care of the important things. Tell your family you love them… tell your friends that you cherish them… don’t wait until it’s too late. Life here on earth may be short… but I rest easy, knowing that I’ll be partying eternally up in “Club Heaven” with my Uncle Kev and lots of other family and friends, not to mention finally getting to meet my first dad! I can see him, my Uncle Kev and my Grandma and Grandpa Bruce up there playing cards… just waiting for more of us to join in on the fun!!
I trust that although my family is suffering loss right now, the Kingdom of God is benefiting. Not only because they have my Uncle Kev up there now to liven things up… but I pray that lives here on Earth have been touched in new ways because of this. I pray that people have reached out to the Lord for comfort, that walks with God have been strengthened and if they didn’t know the Lord Jesus Christ before, that they know Him now because of Kevin’s death. I may question God’s timing, but my trust is in Him regardless.
Mom, me, Aunt Susie and Aunt Kandy
Poor kids didn't know what was about to hit them! And out came the camera...
This is Parker and I... he turned 6 on Jan. 21st!
Kaylee (my cousin Aimee's youngest), Paiton and I
Noah... a.k.a. The Terminator, so I hear!
True example of brotherly love... locking the baby brother in the crib!
Paiton... taking over the reign as Princess...
Me and the boys... Noah and Parker
Max... Kelli and Justin's oldest
This sucks SO flippin' bad!!!! But as much as I wish it was... it's not about me, it's about what God's will for her life is. And although I want her to stay, His will for her life is what I want more! There will definitely be a huge void in my life, but I know God will fill it, just as I know God will take care of her in Utah. Lily... you've blessed my life in ways you will probably never know. I will miss you terribly, pray for you often, and forever bombard you with texts... love you girl!!
