I'm a flippin' Israelite!

The other night I was doing my devotions, and I was reading in Deutoronomy 8, where Moses is talking to the Israelites and this verse struck me pretty hard...

Deut. 8:2 - Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.

I never really thought I could gain much from the New Testament, besides the classic stories... I never really thought any of it could apply to me. For instance, the Israelites. It drives me nuts how stupid they are... they saw all of these miraculous events, their rescue out of Egypt, He parted the Red Sea for them, He even provided mannah for them as they were in "time-out" for 40 yrs. in the desert!! How did they always seem to forget His love and provision and keep turning their backs on Him? How stupid could they get?? That's when I realized that I was one of them.

I'm 30 and single... been single for a LONG time. Tried to force some relationships that were definitely NOT in His will. Made some mistakes along the way, said I'd never do that again, and find myself in the same predicament a couple years later. Hmm. I'm a flippin' Israelite.

But thankfully, God's more gracious and less judgmental than I am. And He's been teaching me a lot lately about different things, and He's been doing it gently. Here's what I got out of this verse. My singleness is my desert. And although He's known the condition of my heart all along... I didn't really know how unhealthy it was when it comes to relationships. This summer, God really allowed me to see how dark it was, and it was kinda scary. Funny thing was... I got this glimpse at the beginning of the summer and got back on track. But it wasn't until recently, when I read this verse that I was truly humbled. He opened my eyes and allowed me to see my past relationships, and how I failed to keep His commands... and how He continued to test me, not because He needed to find out the condition on my heart, He already knew... but He was waiting for ME to find out the true condition of my heart. He has patiently waited for me to figure it out... and it took me long enough to do it.

My prayer now is that I continue to break the strongholds of my past... the old habits, the unhealthy thinking and low self-esteem. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made... He said so, so I need to believe it. My mind knows it... I've just got to make sure that heart of mine figures it out as well!! :-)

This devotion came about the same time as my One Hit Wonder date (previous post) where God gave me a glimpse of what I'm waiting for in a hubby!! I'm excited for what He has for me... and of course, there's always going to be those hi's and low's of singleness... but I'm willing to wait on His timing!! He's been pretty fabulous at working things out in the past, and has track record to prove it... so what do I have to lose!!